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day 1

Hello to atleast hopefully 1 person who will read my blog.

Is that even what i'm supposed to be starting a blog of with? as you can tell i've never written a blog before, i guess it's quite like writing a story but in my case it's going to be a blog of my life starting today! A place i can go back to later on in life and see how i was feeling at the time and what i was getting up to. I guess this is the perfect time to state what i wanted to talk about in the very first blog. I have had anxiety and depression for a very looooonng time. I've had it since i was about 12! But the main thing i want to talk about in my blogs is my anxiety and how i deal with things day to day. I feel like i understand now why i have anxiety, which is something i will defiantly get to but not today! My day dealing with anxiety is pretty much like a roller-coaster ride. Some mornings i feel so sick to even think about my day it's extremely hard to even get out of bed, other days i can't wait to get up and get dressed and feel good about myself and do things i like doing. When it comes down to talking to people and sometimes it can even be family members my anxiety is super bad, I hate going to the shops i try and avoid them as often as i can but I'm an adult now and that just isn't going to work is it? “oh sorry we aren't having dinner because i was to anxious to go down to the shop” don't feel bad if you have said it before because believe me i certainly have said it before. Also answering phone calls and making phone calls, i honestly have the biggest panic attack over. I get so frustrated with myself because certain little things i just have so much trouble doing and I'm not saying this happens always but it is a huge majority of the time. And i know I'm not the only person this happens to and I'm sure the people who experience what i experience are so frustrated to. Maybe together we could help each-other deal with things? who knows. I have an amazing partner who amazingly supports me all the time which I'm so lucky to have! and having my babies around help me as-well of course i mean my fur babies! I have 2 dogs and 3 cats. 2 of the cats we rescued which is why we have now 3 haha! of course you're going to save animals if you get the chance to am i right? We have saved alot of dogs, and passed them onto amazing homes! i was even so excited when our staffies had puppies! luckily they only had 3 and for her first litter ( the only litter!) i thought was pretty good! so obviously as you gathered by that bit i'm an animal lover!

anyway to whoever decides to read this and actually want to read more of my blogs ( hopefully alot) i will end it here with a few little things as like a " get to know me” type of thing and what i want to base my blogs around. Some days it will obviously change, i guess it's just what i feel like writing about at the time!

i hope everyone has a great night/ day wherever or whatever it is, for me it's goodnight. As i'm writing this it is currently 4:42pm. I'll see you guys tomorrow or as i should say i'll write to you guys tomorrow!

seeeeeeeyyyyyaaaaaaa xx